Recognising behaviour patterns between you and your child

Aha!Parenting Website shared some very valuable advice about recognising and labelling the so-called “bad behavior” in children. We will share below a part of the post that was particulartly moving to me. 


“”Bad” behavior is a cry for help. Your child is not a bad person, and his behavior is not inexplicable, even if you don’t understand it. Whatever your child is doing, he’s doing his best to meet his needs and deal with feelings that are overwhelming him.

  • If he’s being aggressive, that’s a red flag that he’s got some big fear locked inside. (Melt that hardened heart to let the fears and tears out by staying compassionate in the face of his anger.)
  • If she’s continually challenging your limits, she may be showing you that she feels controlled. Kids always rebel against force. (Remember that you don’t have to attend every power struggle to which you’re invited.)
  • If he’s super-needy, is it possible that he needs more nurturing than he’s getting? (Make sure your cup is full so you can be emotionally generous with your child.)
  • If she’s defiant, she’s showing you that she feels disconnected from you. (Parenting is 80% connection; otherwise kids can’t accept our guidance. How’s your ratio?)
  • If he’s being “impossible” and nothing you do makes him happy, he may be asking for your help with some big feelings. (Set a calm, kind, limit and hold him while he cries.)”

I consider that this is a lot of insight to help us as parents to try and understand our children. It is never easy, but is an increbile journey of discovery!

To read the whole article, please visit Aha! Parenting website

Valeria Giannuzzi

Valeria Giannuzzi, PhD, is Clinical and Community Psychologist, Social Sciences Researcher and Co-Founder of The Hug Support Group CIC. She is specialised in migrants’ integration, community development, women and parents support. Mom of a 19 months old son.

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